The Blog of
Nadine Dorries
Susan moments
Posted Wednesday, 6 June 2007 at 09:27

I frequently have what I call my 'Susan Moments' - Susan is a character from the C4 programme Desperate Housewives, who is, ever so slightly, accident prone.

A minor 'Susan Moment' happened in a restaurant on Saturday night, when I flicked a plate onto the floor using the corner of the menu - loud noise, smashed glass (all over the feet of the people at the next table) all of that stuff – but that was, as I say, a minor moment.

Most of my Susan moments I manage to conceal from onlookers.

Yesterday was not one of those days, it was a major Susan high visibility moment. My gym bag is packed with lots of things I might need, just in case; spare swimming costume, spare underwear, hairbrushes, make up etc etc.

Yesterday morning I wrote my blog very early, left it to be checked, and then went down to the gym for a swim. My bag was in the usual disarray with belongings spilling out all over the place, with no time to re-pack it properly - I threw it into the back of the car and headed off.

One long ivigorating - don't I now feel smug about myself - swim later, I left the gym and walked across the car park to my car. It was 8.45am and the morning bums and tums were all arriving for their usual classes, before they go and lunch, obviously.

I noticed something white and lacy in the middle of the car park, starkly silhouetted against the black tarmac. I noticed all the bums and tums look and point and laugh at the white flimsy lacy things as they walked past.

A thought crossed my mind.

 As I walked towards the objects of much mirth, I laughed along with the others, even adding to the hilarity, "poor woman" laughed I, "how embarrassing", sat in the car and thought, “yep, they were mine”.

Why me?

Vehicles left at owners' risk

 
 
 
Alison, Ampthill said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Because it's how you are, funny.A refreshing change from the last few heavy days. I always find abortion such a depressing subject.
 
 
Mike H said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
So? Did you nip back out of the car later and pick them up unobserved by groups of giggling passers-by? You didn't say... I'd have picked them up - if they'd been mine, you understand! Why let a perfectly good pair of undies go to waste at the cost of a few moments embarrassment - or are you a fully signed-up member of today's 'throw away' society? :-)
 
 
Dave said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
You're obviously in 'desperate' need of a man to look after you. When would you like me to start? (let me down gently please)
 
 
Nadine said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Oh Dave, what can I say? If only !!!
 
 
Dave said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Yep, that was gentle enough. Always the Lady.
 
 
Paul said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Well if Dave won't do, what about me? I'm good at fixing exhausts and you should see me in action with a poop-scoop.I'm also good at jumping back garden walls and ironing!
 
 
Nadine said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Paul, you sound perfect, but no thanks, really
 
 
Mike said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Well, I will go one further then, marry me?
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Don't bother with them Nadine. I'm the only one who understands you! Paul sounds as if he is married anyway.
 
 
Nadine said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Guys, stop now!! Believe me, I am completley rubbish at relationships, you really wouldn't want to know!! so talk about something else, please!!
 
 
Paul said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Ex SAS actually!
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
S**t! Paul does sound perfect to me too Nadine
 
 
Paul said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
We don't want a relationship with you, God No! Just the minder's job.
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
We're only trying to lighten things up Nadine, after Education,Education, Education. Abortion and Religion.
 
 
Dave said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Stop messing about guys. If you really want to help Nadine, do something towards her day at Woburn. Then everyone will be happy!
 
 
Paul said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
No good with kids but I can send a donation if that helps.
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
What do you need Nadine? some money?
 
 
Mike said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
I am good with kids, I will make a good dad, go on, marry me, please?
 
 
Nadine said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
email me via the web site, that would be great. We want to get together goodie bags for the end of the day, so are looking for doantions toward that. It can come in the form of money, or better still, goods. If anyone reading this is a childrens entertainer,or face painter, or anyone who thinks we can make the day better for the kids, then please get in touch. The numbers of children coming is steadily rising, including the children from the Hospice
 
 
Paul said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
That's the clown sorted Nadine. What size costume do you take Mike?
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
We're bloggers Nadine, not emailers. Tell me where you want a donations sent to and I'll send one.
 
 
Nadine said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
We arent set up for taking money really John. Could you send it to Chris Webster at the Safari Park .. note to self to let him know!! Many thanks,
 
 
Dave said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
If I send a cheque Nadine who do I make it out to? Can't make it out to you cos it may be construed as cash for favours or similar. Look what trouble Supertone is in. Have to be cash I suppose?
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
If you could recommend a Goody Bag supplier from the Internet maybe? we could then each pay for some to be delivered? Sending cash donations could cause problems unless it is properly set up.
 
 
Paul said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Don't get them delivered to Westminster, John. Tony might think they're for him to give out on his leaving party!
 
 
Mike H said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
"If you could recommend a Goody Bag supplier from the Internet maybe..." That's a really excellent idea, John. While I'm posting, in the interests of complete clarity, I'd like to make it clear that there is absolutely no connection between myself and the earlier poster called 'Mike'. While I certainly admire Nadine and, if I'm completely honest, find her really very attractive in an entirely innocent and harmless way (a way that should generously be permitted a chap who has a very happy and successful marriage of nearly 40 years), nevertheless I'll leave the proposals, serious or otherwise, to those who are eligible. :-)
 
 
Dave said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Don't worry Mike H, we realised it wasn't you. The other 'Mike' always dropped his 'H's
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
The bags Cherie will be handing out for Tony will contain a signed photo,a short list of all his best achievements, a book of the worst ones,and a top to spin,and a mug to remind the recipient what he thought of them. More like a 'Baddy' bag!
 
 
Mike H said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Dave and John - Double ROFL for you both!
 
 
Dave said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
I leave the serious stuff to those with the brains...Nadine and you Mike H
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Hey, maybe we could get Tony and Cherie to attend at Woburn?
 
 
Paul said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
For God's sake don't mention their names! This has to be a day that the kids will enjoy.
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
I was thinking of putting them in the lion enclosure! But on second thoughts that wouldn't be very fair......to the lions
 
 
Paul said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
I just realised Nadine was only ten when you got married Mike H
 
 
Dave said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Aren't there any celeb's living in Bedfordshire who could come to Woburn?
 
 
Paul said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Thought you worked for a lot of celebs Dave?
 
 
Dave said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Yes I did but years ago. A lot of them are dead now.Trouble is, these people are usually booked up months in advance and want limo/helicopter transport.
 
 
Mike H said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Oh, thank you Paul. Thank you so much... :-)
 
 
James said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Well Nadine, for a lady who reckons she is rubbish at relationships, you aren't doing badly with the half dozen you have going here, are you!
 
 
Paul said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
That's alright Mike H. I was even younger and thank God you don't find me attractive!
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Tell you what James, this is the first relationship I've been in where the lady rarely answers back! Sheer bliss!
 
 
Dave said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
I wish she would answer back. Here we are willing to throw money her way and we don't know in what direction.
 
 
John said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
What do want us to do Nadine!
 
 
James said:
Responded: Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Probably wants you to stop pestering her and go to bed John
 
 
Victor NW Kent said:
Responded: Thursday, 7 June 2007
Better watch that rough stuff in restaurants. Chris Tarrant got arrested for less.
 
 
Anonymous said:
Responded: Thursday, 7 June 2007
um, to be honest guys, you have no chance! leave her alone and talk about politics like you should be doing. Nadine and her looks are irrelevent to this blog. Goodbye
 
 
You know who said:
Responded: Thursday, 7 June 2007
Um, to be honest Miss Anonymous, we don't need a chance (whatever that means),and we talk about many things as well as politics.Nadine and the way she looks is not irrelevent.On the contrary,to see a happy smiling face everytime I fill in this box is a pleasure, and makes all the difference.It costs nothing to compliment such a warm, kind person.
 
 
Anonymous said:
Responded: Thursday, 7 June 2007
Um, sounds like the minder's job went to a female.Paul will be disappointed. Um.
 
 
James said:
Responded: Thursday, 7 June 2007
What's this!!! Nadine is an irrelevance? How cruel!!! How could anyone say that about such a mature,honest,gorgeous,amazing,delightful,passionate (guessing that one),warm,shapely goddess of a women as Nadine.Beyond comprehension. Must be a female blogger.
 
 
James said:
Responded: Thursday, 7 June 2007
Oh, and I forgot modest. Goodnight Nadine.
 
 
 
Contact Nadine
Nadine Dorries MP
House of Commons
London SW1A 0AA
via e-mail at: nadine.dorries.mp@parliament.uk
or Telephone on 020 7219 5928

 
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