The Blog of
Nadine Dorries
Trouble and strife
Posted Thursday, 12 April 2007 at 10:10

Times2 ran a feature yesterday 'Trouble and Strife' posing this question: has being the perfect parent killed the good wife? Women today are apparently focusing their attention more and more on the children at the cost of the relationship.

 

I loved the article because it spoke some home truths. About how the most difficult aspect of many relationships today is dealing with equality within the relationship.

 

Anita Jackson, a psychotherapist and the author of the website www.rekindlethemagic.com, talks about how it is possible, within a marriage of equality, to allow the natural roles to develop.

 

She says 'There is still something about being in a relationship with a man/woman role, so that the man is in charge, without being controlling, and the woman may have her bag full of stuff, be forgetful and change her mind, because that is how we are and what we are supposed to do'. 

 

I couldn’t agree more. That paragraph contains more common sense with regard to relationships than I have read in a long time.

 

The article didn’t mention the UNICEF report published last month which informed us that in a table of the world's top 21 economically developed countries, we were bottom in terms of children’s wellbeing and happiness.

 

In this country we have the unhappiest children.

 

So maybe the problem is not the fact that women are investing their emotional energy into their children (apparently the reason the relationship bears the cost of this is because as the baby comes in through the door, sex goes out of the window) but that too much is expected from women within the context of equality. Can a woman who works full time, and is a mother, claim to have an equal relationship?

 

Maybe it isn’t possible to hold down a full time job, be a parent and a have a good relationship with your husband because you are so completely knackered from trying to be all things to all people. There just isn’t any emotional energy left for anything other than switching off the light.

 

I feel a change in mood. Some are looking at the women who stay at home, those who reject the so called equality, and wondering, maybe it is possible to have it all. Could the ‘all’ be a successful marriage which lasts for life with happy children, time for everything, and for everything, a time?

 
 
 
Oliver - Croydon. said:
Responded: Thursday, 12 April 2007
Refreshing, a polititcian who isn't scared to say things which may be deemed to be unfashionable by the Notting Hill set or Nulab. Well done.
 
 
Anonymous said:
Responded: Thursday, 12 April 2007
Did you see that survey out that concludes that the happiest people are those in jobs that pay less than £15000. Seems money isn't everything.Perhaps children are unhappy these days because they are spoit for choice in materialistic terms but have so little in the way of freedom. We now try to wrap them up in cotton wool, over protect them, and then wonder why they rebel.As for you young lady, I marvel at the way you manage to balance the life/work ethic (especially when you have us to contend with as well). The truth is this plannet needs more females as yourself. Perhaps then we may start to see an end to the needless pain and suffering caused by your male counterparts.
 
 
MikeH said:
Responded: Thursday, 12 April 2007
I think the opposite of wrapping them up in cotton wool is the case.
 
 
Distraught Admirer said:
Responded: Thursday, 12 April 2007
Your beginning to sound as if your warming to the idea of being 'under the thumb' and content to let the man make all the decisions for you.I appreciate you have a very difficult and often thankless job to do, but don't you dare think about resigning yet.If you want people to have more time together then get our tax burden reduced so we are not all working half the year for Brown or the EU to waste it.Remember, thousands marry for richer or for poorer, very few for good!
 
 
Anonymous said:
Responded: Thursday, 12 April 2007
Not where I come from MikeH
 
 
Anonymous said:
Responded: Thursday, 12 April 2007
"pain and suffering caused by male counterparts" I take it by that you mean wars, drug dealing, armed robberies, gun crime, wife beating etc. Yes, you have a point there.
 
 
Anonymous said:
Responded: Thursday, 12 April 2007
The only thing feminism has given me is very long hours and the door slammed in my face. What were our mothers on about?
 
 
An admirer said:
Responded: Thursday, 12 April 2007
Great Insight as usual. You have a way of pondering through to the spot on conclusion, which is always a delight to read.
 
 
Anonymous said:
Responded: Thursday, 12 April 2007
Ahaaa, Cornerstone colours coming out from under the bushel here I think>
 
 
James said:
Responded: Saturday, 14 April 2007
Have you had enough of the gypsy thing Nadine? Is your comment box in meltdown? Cos it has dissappeared. Anyway, Just like to say that you are also a rare thing here in the UK, I'm glad you are a natural blonde and there's nothing false about you, and b****r you cos I can't get THAT song out of my head.
 
 
 
Contact Nadine
Nadine Dorries MP
House of Commons
London SW1A 0AA
via e-mail at: nadine.dorries.mp@parliament.uk
or Telephone on 020 7219 5928

 
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